I was blessed this last week to become engaged to a most wonderful woman. I do not have the space in 100 blogs to list all her accolades but to summarize she is able to put up with me and smile while doing it! This week I reflected on how I won her over.
1) Trust – I earned it. As we have all hear this is the foundation of any good relationship. Business or personal and to earn it we must be willing to give it. I have found that it is in this walk that WE build trust. Not a gift but something you build together. Something as strong as a diamond but respected like your most prized possession.
2) Patience – I gave it. I love the statement “I asked God for patience and he gave me opportunities to practice my patience.” I have learned that we each learn and experience in our own ways and as my coach says to “let everyone have space for their own experience is the best gift you can give them” Good Lord knows I tested hers … but that was just to make sure she was the one!! J
3) Communication – I used it. One special thing my Fiancée is amazing at is communication and while I do it every day during challenging times or topics I can become introverted during thought. She helps me talk through that. My win was in not being stubborn and letting her help me and listening to her wisdom and experience. (Oh yeah and knowing when to shut up!)
4) Laughter – I did tons of it. One of her favorite statements is: “Did that make you laugh?” and the answer is always. “Yes, it did sweetie” There are times we just laugh together just because. The illogical tears that come with a belly roll of epic proportions. It is so refreshing to the soul.
5) Love – I gave and received it. I like the John Mayer song / lyrics “Love is a Verb”. It truly is, but not just to be given. The act of allowing yourself to receive love, true and pure love, is also an important part of a relationship. And boy do I love her.
6) Respect – We are committed to it. From this we are able to do all the previous things on a level that makes it greater than the sum of its parts. We communicate on a level that is respectful first. Sure we argue but we work hard to have respectful arguments. We trust but respect that we have all been hurt in the past and that affects our process. We have patience and respect the differences while know the patience we may need is for ourselves to see that THEY are right. I respect that when she is laughing at me it is in a way that I can (and should) laugh at, not degrade, myself. And Finally we respect that our love will be received and taken care of for the rest of time.
Think of all your relationships in this manner. Client, customer, employee, employer, friend, vendor, significant other. They all have similar foundations and if treated well have the opportunity to bear amazing fruits.
You may get more that a sale of lifetime!
Make it a GREAT week.